Lex: Holding Space

Alexis “Lex” Hagstrom is someone who always tries to make people feel seen. Not just in the way that the casual acquaintance acknowledges your presence, but in the way that someone listens, really listens, to who you are and what you’re saying, even when you don’t have the words fully formed yet. It’s an unspoken skill, the kind that makes strangers open up to her at a bar, that makes old friends return with secrets held in trust. Lex holds space for people, and in doing so, she’s learning how to hold space for herself.

This chapter of her life is about learning to be herself, by herself, and, perhaps most importantly, learning how to celebrate the life she has already built. “It’s really freaking cool,” she said, almost as if she was convincing herself of that truth in real time. I felt a quiet power in her realization, in the act of naming her own worth and letting herself feel proud of what she has accomplished.

For so long, she, like many of us, moved through life in structured spaces, where connection was built into the architecture. College dorms, teams, and communities where friendships were seemingly inevitable. But after college and the pandemic, she realized just how much that built-in scaffolding of relationships had shaped her. “I didn’t understand how much I needed that,” she said. Now, in a world where connection is no longer automatic, she now understands the importance of seeking it out intentionally.

The Beauty in Unexpected Encounters

Lex finds beauty in the unexpected interactions, the fleeting yet significant moments of human connection. She told me about a weekend trip she took for herself, when she stayed in a historic hotel with no real agenda. Downstairs at the restaurant, she struck up conversations with strangers, people she never would have crossed paths with otherwise. 

Lex channels many, if not all, of her thoughts through art. For her, connection appears to be another kind of creative expression. Much like painting, it involves observation, emotion, and an appreciation for the unseen layers beneath the surface. “It’s magical,” she reflected, describing the kind of encounters that linger. She lives for the moments where you leave knowing something about another person’s story that you hadn’t known before, and knowing that they now know a small piece of yours.

But in a world that feels increasingly isolated and polarized, she’s come to see the irony in how undervalued these moments are. “People forget how good it feels to be heard,” she said. Whether it’s the small talk exchanged with a barista or a deeper conversation with someone in need, Lex believes in the power of simply listening. She stated that there’s a radical intimacy in being present, in making the effort to truly see and hear someone else.

Discovering Her Own Identity

Even as she fosters connection with others, she wrestles with what it means to fully show up as herself. Growing up, she was always accomplishment driven, moving from one goal to the next without much room to explore who she was beyond the schedule. “I don’t think I really had the time to figure out that part of myself,” she admitted. It wasn’t until college, until people started seeking her out, drawn to something in her that even she hadn’t fully recognized, that she began to understand her own ability to create space for others.

There’s a quiet irony in this, too. People share themselves with Lex so freely, but sometimes she wonders if they truly see her in return. “I think a lot of people walk away from a conversation with me feeling like they got so much out of it, but they don’t actually know much about me,” she laughs. Yet, for her, the act of holding space for others fills her cup just enough to get by. 

Searching for a Place to Belong

As she moves forward, she’s realizing that belonging isn’t just about finding the right people. It’s also about finding the right places. A city, a creative community, a career that aligns with her values. She’s drawn to places where she can be fully herself, where she doesn’t have to translate or shrink to fit. And in those moments when she feels fully aligned, when her heart and mind are in sync, Lex describes herself as someone who can conquer the world. To which I’d fully agree.

Lex’s story is a meditation on the small but profound ways we seek and find belonging. It’s about recognizing that, in a world that often feels disconnected, listening is one of the most powerful acts we can offer, to others but also to ourselves. As she continues her journey, she’s learning that connection is something we build, piece by piece, moment by moment, word by word.

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Temi’s Reflection

There are some people you meet in life who you just want good things for. People who make the world feel a little warmer, a little kinder, just by being in it. Lex has always been one of those people for me. Since knowing her in college, I’ve always appreciated the way she looks at life, not just as something to get through, but as something to be felt, understood, and shared. She sees beauty in the quiet moments, in the small gestures, and in the way people reveal themselves when they feel truly heard.

Talking to Lex reminded me that life isn’t always kind. It can be isolating, unrelenting, and indifferent to the people who deserve softness the most. But knowing that people like Lex exist makes it easier to believe in a world where compassion is both possible and normalized. She reminds me that connection is a choice we make every day, to listen, to hold space, and to meet people where they are. When you meet someone who does that so naturally, who gives people permission to be themselves without even trying, it’s impossible not to want the world to be just as kind to them in return.

At one point in our conversation, she asked if I had taken off my hat because I finally felt comfortable. It caught me off guard. I have done that for so long, taking my hat off when I feel safe and fully at ease, but no one had ever called it out before. It was such a small observation, but it was Lex in a nutshell. She sees people, not just in the obvious ways, but in the quiet, unspoken details that even they might not notice about themselves.

Lex has spent so much of her life creating space for others, ensuring that they feel seen, valued, and understood. If there is any justice in the way the world works, it will return that energy to her tenfold. I hope life blesses her. I hope the sun shines its brightest rays on her. She deserves it.